Over the years, I’ve noticed, and I imagine many other therapist have too, how clients sometimes 'sit' on things. They know exactly what they want to share, but feel unable to say it out loud. Sometimes the words feel too exposing, almost impossible to get out.
Sometimes they worry about being judged, misunderstood, or even that they might overwhelm or upset someone else. And sometimes it’s as simple as once something is spoken, it feels more real, it can't be taken back.
In these moments, clients often find other ways to communicate. They may choose to write it down, show a screenshot, share a song, poem or more recently, pull out their phone to share a meme they’ve seen that “just gets it”. I’ve come to understand these moments not as avoidance, but as attempts to stay safe whilst honestly sharing parts of themselves that may be different to share. It's a way to reach out, to connect and to be seen.
There’s something important happening psychologically when someone can point to something rather than speak directly from themselves. It creates enough emotional distance to reduce some shame and threat, without disconnecting from the experience entirely. It feels safe.
Verbal disclosure asks a lot of someone and it's not effortlessly accessible to everyone. It requires awareness, courage, and trust that the other person can hold what they are about to share. For clients who have experienced trauma, shame, or being dismissed in the past, this can feel like too much. Our nervous systems all hold stories based on experiences.
When someone uses an image, a written statement, or something that already exists outside of them, the message becomes shared rather than owned entirely by them. The experience is still very real, but the delivery feels less risky.
In trauma-informed terms, this can be understood as titration. Allowing expression, exploration in manageable amounts. Not to avoid the truth, but to approach it at a pace that feels safe and in a way the nervous system can tolerate.
The simple sharing of meme's on social media offers a really interesting and useful insight into how people communicate difficult inner experiences. When someone shares a meme that reflects how they’re feeling, they are able to express that this is how they feel, this is their opinion but in a much less direct way of writing a personal post and 100% owning it. Memes allow people to feel seen without having to fully expose themselves. They communicate shared experience, which can be deeply regulating and validating. There’s so much comfort in knowing that a thought or feeling isn’t unique or strange, even if we find it is deeply personal and distressing. There is comfort to be found knowing we aren't alone.
In many ways, this mirrors what happens in therapy when clients use indirect forms of expression. They are able to gain some relief, test the waters but nor so deeply that they cant pivot away if things begin to feel emotionally risky or too vulnerable.
It’s within this understanding that I began developing the Emotional Witness Deck.
Not as a technique, and certainly not as a way to direct or interpret, but as a way for clients to connect and share, to recognise something in front of them and say, “That feels true, for me".
I kept the statements on the cards intentionally simple and direct. They reflect thoughts and experiences that many people carry quietly, often believing they are alone in them. Seeing those thoughts written down can gently challenge that sense of isolation and can bring something into awareness without requiring immediate exploration or justification.
Much like sharing a meme, a lyric, or a line of poetry, the cards allow clients to be seen without being fully exposed. They offer recognition, shared humanity, and a sense that these thoughts are not strange or rare.
For me, this sits comfortably within a person-centred, trauma-informed way of working. It respects pace. It honours choice. And it trusts the client’s capacity to make meaning for themselves when the conditions feel safe enough.
Sometimes, being witnessed indirectly is exactly what makes being witnessed possible at all.